Wow, it has been a really long time since I wrote anything here--life is so full and busy sometimes, and it is so hard to try to put into words what God is working and doing here and in my heart. I am really enjoying my second year, the new responsibilities, and the new things to be learned. Since coming back, I have been thinking a lot about what it means to be a witness of the gospel. I think that last year I was often so overwhelmed by the needs of people that I spent my time and energy trying to meet those needs, and always found that I was not enough. There are a lot of scriptures that exhort us to meet physical needs, but when we get to the end of ourselves, people still have needs and problems, and they still need Jesus more than anything else. I have been praying that the Lord would teach me what it means to walk in joy and to be the light in darkness that draws these people to Himself, even when I don't know enough of their language to explain His love to them.

Through the hard times, God is so faithful to us here. I have learned to catch two babies in one shift without feeling like I am going to pass out from exhaustion, and I am now stitching up tears and putting in IVs with at least a lot more confidence than before =) The other night, I had a birth where the mother pushed her baby's head most of the way out while standing up on the bed and leaning most of her weight on my shoulders while I squatted in front of her. How fun is that?

I would appreciate prayer as I ask God to show me how to share Him with the people here and as I learn to find my joy and satisfaction in Jesus only, wherever I am and whatever He requires of me.

Faithfulness

Arlyn and Ana Rose both gave birth to healthy boys last week. God gave me the strength I needed to catch lots of babies on not so much sleep. How amazing to feel a baby growing for so many months, to feel him kick my hands as I palpated his position, to hear the tiny heart beating away and to see his mother smile each time she heard it, then finally to hold him, wet and slippery, as he takes his first breath. That same God who formed life before my eyes is the same God who walks with me, loves me, cares for my every need, and feels my joys and my pain. How can I ever doubt His wisdom, or His faithfulness?

Joys and sorrows

I have been praying that God would give me His heart toward my patients and teach me to see them as He sees them. Here at Mercy the midwifery students can take certain patients as their continuity patients (usually patients that have a special need or who really connect with the midwife), meaning that we handle all of their care from pregnancy through postpartum. I was really afraid of this responsibility, so I didn't take a continuity for a long time, but God just tugs on your heart with certain patients I guess. It is amazing how after you commit to care for a person and they trust you, they share so many things that you never would have suspected on the surface--makes me wonder how many patients go through all of their care here hiding their pain with a smile and never share their heavy burdens with anyone. Right now I have a few conts and they are so different. Arlyn (in the picture) is 30 and has a simple, stable family. She is secure and responsible, and knows Jesus. Right now I am sleeping with my cellphone by my head every night because Arly is due any day--we are both so excited. My other cont, Erica, is 17 and when I did her first prenatal, her boyfriend had just left her. She is all alone becuase her parents are divorced and she works 6 1/2 days every week. She is so alone and confused and desperate and needs Jesus so badly. Sometimes I don't even what to say to her and how to be there for her. Please pray for Erica. God is teach me so much and breaking my heart for His children.

Just got done with out hugest assignment yet-96 pages! Now all of us first years are getting ready for the midwterm on March 12. On feb 25-28 Abigail, Erin, and I went on outreach to Talaingod, a village about three hours drive from Mercy. Josephine, one of the Filipina midwives who works at the clininc and teaches us, comes from Talaingod and wnat to go back to her people at some point as a missionary. We went to stay at a dormitory build in the little village by Mariane and Dolphy, Swiss missionaries who have been here for 25 years, most of which they have lived in the mountains with tribal people. The dormitory houses highschool students from the mountains who live too far away to be able to go to school otherwise. They are taught Enlgish and discipled and fed at the dormitory, it ws really fun talking to some of them and getting to know them a little.
We rode to the village in the bakc of Dolphy's truck with all our backpacks and two other Filipina ladies who were coming to teach an eye screening class. It was so fun to feel the wind and get a little sunburned for three hours, reminds me of home. The first evening at the village we spent eating dinner and learning how to use tha water pump, take a water bath, and warm off the determined mosquitoes. The next morning we had the eye screening class where the two nurses who had come in from the city taught us and about 15 health workers who live and work in the surrounding areas. Their goal was to teach the health workers to identify eye diseases before they cause blindness and help the patients to get treatment. The teahcing was all in Visayan, so that was interesting, but we understood enough to get the hang of it. The next day, we all the health workers invited patients and we had sooo many. Not just eye problems either-everyone came. So we listened to everyone's lungs and took everyone's vitals, then Mariane gave medicine to the ones that needed it. It was hard to see how many had already gone to a clinic somewhere and gotten meds for some chronic problem, but had stopped taking htem becuase they were too expensive--there is kind of nothing you can do but pray and try to encourage them.

On sunday we rode another hour or so up into the mountains through the banana plantations to church. Josephine showed us where she was born and how long she used to have to walk to school-about two hours. We went to a tiny little grass church where we had to sit in the front seats of honor-awkward. Then the kids sang some songs in their Monodo language and we sang a song in Visayan and then the dads and the moms and the young people, and another visitor each sang their own song. After that we had a snack of kasava goo and potatoes. Next Mariane taught the kids a story in Manobo and Dolphy preached a sermon and then we all loaded back up and headed down again. We stopped so many times to say hello and visit people. We had lunch at the house of the tribal Datu, or leader, and of course they just watched us eat--awkward again, but funny.

I learned a lot on the trip about what it means to devote a whole life to serving people. After 25 yrs. the people who are so shy and timid with me are so comfortable with Mariane and Dolphy and trust them so completely. That is something to work toward. I think so much is knowing the language, but also just living with the people and understanding them means so much.

The ride back home was really nice. Erin and I sat in the back and watched the sunset and chatted. We even got a little chilly! God knew just what I needed-a little rest in the country and a good reminder of why I am here.

Wow, it has been so long since I had a chance to write anything here. We have been busy keeping up with assisnments and learning so much in the birthroom and prenatal clinic. God is so faithful. I caught my seventeenth baby on Thursday night. Little John Carlo had very low heart tones during pushing and cme out with moderate mec staining, which is a sign of distress and increases the risk of respiratory infection. My supervisor and I monitored the baby very carefully and as he started showing more and more signs of respiratory distress, we prayed for him. The new father held his baby for a long time and he finally stabilized and was able to go home safely the next morning. Praise Jesus. Please pray that I will keep learning more Viasayan so that I can communicate better with the women and tell them about Jesus.

"This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The Lord is my portion saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him."

I caught my first baby on November 8 at 12:14 am. God is teaching me so much about His power and my weakness. I have been impressed with the great responsibility here. The women just look into your eyes and trust you...we are not worthy of that kind of trust, but Jesus is.

First picture is me and baby Dustine Dale (3rd baby) and second picture is mama Melvilyn and baby Nena Sotera Eryn (1st baby)

"if any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his heart shall flow rivers of living water." john 7:37b-38

(first picture) On Friday we had a lady come in who we thought had twins, so we transported her to the hospital just in case. She was really sweet and understanding about the change of plans. I went to visit her yesterday and suprise--usa lang (just one)! Hopefully she will come back to Mercy for baby checkups.

(next pictures) baby Miami Florida with mom, dad, midwife Bea (2nd year), and me.

I feel like I'm learning slow most of the time, but Jesus keeps reminding me that it's not any skill or ability of mine that has brought me here, but His calling, and it will be by His mighty hand that I come through!

"it is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect." Ps. 18:32